Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Letting Love In

When we are young, we are innocent. It is our inherent nature to love and expect to be loved in return. As souls we come from love and we are wired for love. However, on this planet, plane and “school of duality,” it is inevitable we will eventually experience hurt, betrayal, disconnection and disillusionment. When these things happen, it is our natural propensity to establish a protective shield, or start to build walls around our hearts.

Heart walls are built an attempt to prevent any future pain and hurt from happening. But these walls don’t keep the pain out, they lock the hurt in.

These walls can cause a multitude of problems, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. One significant issue is they isolate us and make us feel lonely. They also prevent the flow of giving and receiving love, which is our inherent nature and one of the most important reasons we are here as spiritual beings having a human experience.

In order to feel safe, so we can lower our defenses and become available for love, it is vital to dismantle these walls. These walls can start to dissolve as we begin to cultivate kindness, empathy and compassion for ourselves. It is important to learn how to authentically and gently care for ourselves. And because we attract people who treat us like we treat ourselves, this can naturally support us in becoming more discerning about who we let close and how close.

If we want to heal and become whole, we need to be able to bring love and compassion to the places inside that hurt. As we acknowledge and heal our mental and emotional trauma, we become more clear. This is how we become “spiritual adults,“ rather than unaware, hurting, unhealed children (which is how most people are navigating in this world.)

If you are ready to be in an authentic, caring and loving relationship, you need to be in an authentic, caring and loving relationship with yourself. It is vital to take responsibility for your own healing work. Also to acknowledge you are not a victim. No matter what happened, it was an opportunity for you to grow on a soul level. If we don’t forgive, we stay stuck in the lower level victim vibration, impede the energy of grace, block off divine support and attract more situations where we feel powerless and victimized.   

To begin this transformational process it can be helpful to consciously acknowledge though you have not always been treated with love, you are worthy of love. Then think about what it would mean to be more compassionate, affectionate and loving with yourself.  It is also vital to forgive others (though not necessarily allow them back in your life) and forgive yourself for not knowing better or doing better. The truth is, we all are doing the very best we can given our level of consciousness.  When we become aware of this, it can start soften our hearts and help the healing process to naturally begin. 

Some additional helpful practices to dismantle heart walls include:

1      1.  Consider what would nurture you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and do these things for yourself.  

2      2. Say the things to your reflection in the mirror that you long to hear.

3      3. Spend time in your inner world, and become familiar with your inner landscape. This can positively influence and affect your outer life. 

4      4. Make time to quite your mind, relax into silence and then make yourself available to hear the wisdom of the still small voice within.

5      5. Speak your truth, don’t play games with yourself or others.

6      6. Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. This can help establish healthy boundaries and help you become more clear about what is expected and shift how you will be treated.  

7      7. Listen to healing and empowering guided meditations. This will help your subconscious mind and conscious mind partner together, and help create positive changes in your life.

And while participating in these practices may mean some people will move away from you, they are not the “right people” for you. This will also create the space and vibration for those who are a more compatible and a “natural fit” to come forward in your life.

Well-being, love and happiness are inner qualities. Set the intention to tap into this inner state, and watch how your life shifts, uplevels and transforms. As you relax into the space of love within, and become more comfortable and empowered in your life, it will shift your posture from victim and fear-based, to empowered and love-based.  And what you attract from this vibration will always be better, healthier and more fulfilling.

Living life with an open heart, and in our truth, is how we align with our soul and Source. This is our ultimate strength. This is how we invite grace and flow into our lives, how we attract others of like mind and heart, and begin to experience a “heaven on earth reality.”

If you would like help dissolving the walls around your heart, I have many guided meditations on my website designed to support you. You can also be in touch with me at tammibphd@gmail.com with any questions, prayer requests, thoughts, revelations or anything else you would like to share.

Sending you blessings of healing, wholeness, grace, ease, peace and open-hearted, flowing, eternal love,


Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Courage, Confidence & Great Love

In order for life to show up in a supportive, kind and loving way, we must come into a supportive, kind and loving relationship with ourselves.  And since most of us have experienced a fair amount of drama, trauma and disillusionment in our lives, this can take some conscious intention and a bit of inner work. 

The process of relinquishing fear, awakening and stepping into our authentic power rarely happens all at once or quickly. Nor should it. Waking up to the love we are, and the work of enlightenment, is best approached as a marathon rather than a sprint. Slow and steady wins the race!  

For me healing and relaxing into love has been about learning to trust myself and having faith in the process of life. 

It can be helpful while in the throes of fear to ask yourself “What is it I am really afraid of?” Then compassionately listen to whatever comes up. Usually it is a younger part of ourselves that has experienced some trauma and has some unprocessed pain. Imagine soothing your younger self with presence, patience and empathy.  Consider allowing this young one to express their feelings by writing down what comes up in a notebook or journal, and then responding as your adult-self in a kind and gentle way. 

Another helpful practice can be to invite your Higher Power, as you know it, to be part of the conversation. Talk. Ask questions. Then receive. By sharing your feelings and then patiently listening with your open heart or "inner ears" you can gain access to personal aha's, insights and tap into your wise inner knowing. This is a powerful practice that can help you unravel fear, cultivate courage and begin to heal from the inside out. 

I have found as I take care of my relationship with inner child and my relationship with God/Spirit/The Universe, my life works with much more peace, grace and joy.
This can start to clear the path for you to expand energetically and relax in to the being you were always destined to be. And as a wonderful bonus, joy, peace, creativity, celebration become your natural state of being. 

Being centered in your loving despite fear (an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real) can be like building a muscle. As we do this kind of inner work, we are often (and maybe always) met with grace and God winks, This can help us know that we are being supported by Something Greater. This is how we deepen our roots in physical world reality and become stronger, more solid, and more evolved souls.  And once we become aligned and congruent in body, mind and spirit, we are more comfortable in our skin, more naturally confident and we become a more peaceful presence in the world.  

Consider this image and analogy: If the roots of a tree go deep, the natural side effect is for the branches to go high. The more deeply anchored you are in your self love, the more at home you feel within yourself, in the world and the more natural success, joy and wonderful relationships will be

When you are grounded, centered and aligned in your loving and beingness, the doingness and success happens as a natural side effect and consequence. Manifesting and naturally attracting what is yours by Divine Right occurs with a lot more grace, ease and synchronicity.

The truth is as you take responsibility to cultivate a peaceful, comfortable relationship with your inner reality, your outer reality will take care of itself. And once we relinquish fear, and relax in the place of love within, love is all around us. Love from others and life is simply a reflection of who we are, and a mirror of our divine nature. 

For more about this subject please listen to this episode of Journey to Center on Empower Radio.  http://www.empoweradio.com/home/shows/on-demand/journey-to-center/813214-Journeying-Center-and-the-Quality-Courage.html

And please be in touch with any thoughts, questions, ideas, stories or revelations of your own.

Sending you blessings on your journey of grace, ease, peace, comfort, healing, wholeness and great love,

Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Compassion as a Way of Being

We live on a planet of free will and choice, and while most of us would agree, we want people to be kind and loving, not everyone will make this choice. 

As long as we are given the choice to create from fear or love, there will be those who live more from a place of fear and disconnection.  I have been there myself, and you know what? It’s awful and it hurts! And hurt people hurt people. 

How others behave is their karma, how you chose to respond is yours. So when you witness “bad people doing bad things” what is your response? Do you jump on the band wagon and want to see this person lynched up, punished or maybe even destroyed? Or, can you take a step back? Can you try to understand where this person is within themselves and why they would make this kind of choice? 

It is easy to have compassion for victims. It is not as easy to have compassion for perpetrators. And it is the emotion of empathy and quality of compassion that separates mere mortals from ascended masters; those who perceive the world through the limited perspective of simply being human, from those who see our reality through a higher perspective of spiritual beings having a human experience. 

My spiritual teachers once told me “The only emotion left for the fully realized human being is infinite unbearable compassion.”  What I know for sure is that anyone who lives for very long as a human being on planet earth will not avoid pain.  In the movie “The Shack,” God says to one who is suffering “You want the promise of a pain free life…there isn’t one.” So the question becomes, how do you want to deal with the universal quality and experience of pain?

Years ago I got a call that a friend of mine was murdered, I got very cold, and started shaking. I realized I was going into shock. I started to run around this house, and considered things I could do to stop in the profound intensity of this pain. I thought to myself, I could have drink, or take a pill, but I realized there was nothing I could do to avoid the anguish I was feeling, so rather than running from it, I surrendered it - I fell to my knees, and I prayed.  I said to God repeatedly, "This makes no sense, this makes no sense, this makes no sense!!" What I got in return was "This will never make sense from your limited human perspective, you have to trust in Me, there is a higher order, someday you will understand." I realize if I want to live in peace, I MUST rest in this knowingness.

In Don Miguel’s Ruiz’ book “The Mastery of Love” He invited us to visualize living on a planet where everyone has a terrible skin disease. People are covered with wounds that are infected and everyone is in a great deal of pain, and this is considered normal.  Can you imagine how these people are going to treat each other?   Well, as humans we all have terrible infections and a disease, but rather than physical (which we could see) it is emotional (which we cannot see). This disease is fear and it can wreak havoc with our lives and ripple out and negatively affect others and the world.

The most important thing we can do is to admit we are hurting and start having compassion for ourselves. A second transformational healing practice is to allow and receive the compassion of Spirit and the angels to pour down over us and imbue us in body, mind and spirit. It is important look at our lives and be honest about the things that have broken our hearts and then hold ourselves in a place of gentleness, sweetness, acknowledgement and compassion.  It can be akin to seeing ourselves objectively, and speaking the words of kindness and empathy, then treating ourselves as we would a small child who we adore, or an innocent animal who we have immense love for. 

When I talked to Dr. Eben Alexander about his near death experience and his time with God, he spoke of the immense compassion God has for all of his children and that He is aware of how much it hurts to perceive being disconnected from God/Love for even a second or mere moment. Many people live their whole lives from the perception of disconnection. This breaks Gods heart and it can break ours. When we hurt, or observe hurting people who are making "bad choices", we can choose to build walls around ourselves, or we can allow it to break us open. 

We heal when we bring love and compassion to the places inside that hurt. And once we do this for ourselves, we can start bringing the healing quality of compassion to others and to the world.   

When we start living life and seeing others with this awareness, it can help us open our hearts rather than close them down. And rather than leap to a judgment and anger when someone flips you off in traffic, when you read something in the news of a terrible shooting or your experience a personal tragedy, your involuntary knee jerk response is not one reacting from unprocessed hurt and woundedness, but rather someone who is healing up and seeing this reality from a more spiritually mature and deeply compassionate  perspective.  This in turn is what will ripple out and positively affect others and the world. 

In a world that is primarily fear-based, are you part of the problem (living from fear, disconnection and judgment) or part of the solution (living from love, alignment and compassion)? 

Mahatma Gandhi shared some wonderful wisdom and an elegant invitation when he said:  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If you want to live in a more compassionate, peaceful world, cultivate the qualities of compassion and peace for and within yourself. The natural side effect is that you will effectively bring more of these qualities to our sweet, beautiful planet and her many hurting inhabitants. 

If you would like to open your heart and mind to greater compassion for yourself, so that you can more effectively share this vital and healing quality with the world, please email me at tammibphd.@gmail.com and request my "Cultivating Self Compassion" guided meditation. 

I invite you to be in touch and let me know how you are doing.

Sending you blessings of grace, ease, peace, sweetness, compassion, gratitude and great love, 

Tammi Baliszsewski, Ph.D.