Labor Day

Labor Day is often associated with the “Last Hoorah” of the summer, an extended weekend of barbeques, weekend travels and picnics. However, the true meaning of Labor Day was established 1882 and is about celebrating laborers around the nation. I categorize labor in one of three arenas: jobs, careers or life’s purpose. A job is a means to an end, making money to pay the bills. A career is a trade that one is proud of and feeds them on a deeper lever. A life’s purpose is the clear alignment with a soul’s mission.

Undoubtedly these are challenging economic times and many have been laid off from their careers, and perhaps “downgrading” to a job they feel is beneath them. Sometimes in life we feel like we are taking one step forward and two steps back. It can be SO POWERFUL to set the intention to do ALL that we do with the attitude of love and gratitude, knowing that each experience can bring us closer the ultimate destination of our life’s purpose.

I have always enjoyed working and been told repeatedly I have a great work ethic. I have waited tables and served cocktails, for me these were jobs. I have been a hairdresser and actress…these were my careers. Now as a Holistic Life Counselor, author, artist and sacred art facilitator I am living my life’s purpose. I feel very blessed to have found my soul’s purpose, but have enjoyed and been grateful for all of my jobs and careers. Each experience was a stepping stone supporting me in arriving at my current destination. When I worked as cocktail waitress, someone said to me: “What are you doing here? You are too good for this.” My response was, “This is what I do, not who I am and I am honored to be serving you.” To work is the opportunity to be of service to others. Mother Teresa has said: "We can do no great things; only small things with great love." And whether serving cocktails, doing someone’s hair or teaching them about the Mandala I have done it with the intention of love.

So no matter what your trade, or even if you are unemployed at this time, to live with the attitude of service, appreciation and loving, opens doors and make you a magnet for opportunity. So this Labor Day, let your attitude be of gratitude: for your work, your life and your lessons. To further energize your capacity to attract good, remember to extend this energy of gratitude to those around you who labor to bring you all of the comforts and blessings of your world. Happy Labor Day and I hope to hear from you!

Go with the Flow

Einstein once said: "I think the most important question facing humanity is, 'Is the universe a friendly place'. This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves. If we believe the Universe is safe, we can relax and enjoy the experience of being human, if not, struggle, resistance and pain will be inevitable. For many years I thought the world was unfair and scary. When I really contemplated Einstein’s question, I decided to be like a spiritual scientist, I opened my mind to the possibility of trusting and relaxing for a while. If things did not work out, I figured I could always go back to my old way of being. That was about 10 years ago, and I am happy to report, I never went back.

This does not mean life is always easy - it isn’t. But I do not put up as much of a fight when challenges come my way. I also do not resist my discomfort, I surrender, I allow (sometimes even consciously go into the resistance) and soon I find my out of it.

The other day as I was leaving my house, I spun out on my stiletto and found myself on the floor. As I lay there, angry at first, then curious as to why this had happened, I allowed myself to just sit there, tail bone bruised, elbow bleeding and my head throbbing. I consciously relaxed, surrendered and found my center. Because I did not judge myself or the incident, I believe I moved through the situation more quickly and with more ease. Even before I reestablished myself in an upright position, I found some things to be grateful for: “Thank God this did not happen in public!”

Choosing to trust the process of life has brought miracles and support like I could never have imagined. And just like a flowing river can have rocks and logs in it, life can still be bumpy and we can still encounter the occasional bruise. But it is such a relief to be curious, amused and know life is on our side rather than feel angry, judgmental, afraid and unsafe.

Do you feel loved and supported by life? Are you going with the flow? Comment me and share your thoughts!

Releasing Guilt

Hello my Beautiful Friends. I am back in the serene environment of Idaho after a month in LA and two intensive healing retreats. People ask what I learned on my adventures and there was SO MUCH, but I believe the greatest value I received was the awareness, release and liberation from a significant amount of guilt I have been carrying.

I have heard it said guilt is anger turned inward. In psychoanalysis, the concept of unconscious guilt is often used to explain certain kinds of self punitive behavior. Guilt can keep us playing small, it can also prevent us from creating prosperity or manifesting love. It can be like a dam in a river or the pinch in the flow of our lives. We always attract what we believe we deserve, and if we have hidden guilt or shame in the recesses of our psyche, it will be impossible to create the life of our dreams.

In my blog last week, I address the issue of guilt. In one of the phrases of my poem “God’s Face” I say “guilt is love misunderstood.” For three years I have carried a heavy burden as a result of a friend’s choice to commit suicide. I thought my guilt was “proving” to him how much I loved him and keeping us connected - it was, but not in a positive way. When I became conscious of the hidden material in the shadows of my heart and mind, I could then look at it, listen to it, and try to understand it. For me, the guilt was like bowing down in apology - and beneath that, reverence and profound, breathtaking love.

I finally understood, my guilt was tangled up, confused love and not serving anyone - not my beautiful friend, not me, not my family, and not those I hope to serve in the future. To heal the guilt, I needed to forgive myself. I forgave myself for not being a good enough friend, for not knowing more than I knew, for making perceived mistakes, for the quality of my love not being enough and much more. As I forgave myself and released the shackles of shame, I started to feel lighter, more open and more “clean” inside. It also seemed I was making space for more love.

If you are carrying any guilt, I support you in going deeper. What needs to be forgiven? What is the misunderstanding? What do you need to release? Becoming aware of and then releasing this heavy emotion can help you to lighten up in every way. I support you in relaxing and letting go of what is no longer serving you and in turning up your wattage. The world needs our light right now and we really do deserve the life of our dreams. Tell me about your process and your thoughts. And as always abundant blessings of grace, ease, healing and profound love, Tammi

God's Face

Hello Friends! The clearing of the unconscious continues with unexpected experiences from crazy vivid dreams to the sudden spewing of poetry. Although I don’t consider myself a poet, I have, on occasion, turned to this form of creativity while purging pain or seeking clarity in times of confusion. This weeks blog includes my lastest musings about our journey as spiritual beings having a human experience. I would love to hear your thoughts. And as always, abundant blessings of grace, ease, prosperity and joy to you. Tammi.

God’s Face
By Tammi Baliszewski

Vampire, preditor, victim, whore,
Whoever is in me I have tried to ignore.

I am gently calling you out of the shadow of shame,
It’s time to complete the cycle of guilt, this gut wrenching game.

The parts I deemed unlovable, descended underground.
Ignored but not forgotten, deafeningly loud with no sound.

Carrying beliefs of my unworthiness, mistakes and the pain,
The heavy baggage of misunderstanding, has made me insane.

Mortified and wounded it’s time to look in my eyes,
Willing to fall to my knees, surrender, let go of these lies

I have donned the false mask of courage defiled,
As I look in the mirror, I see the innocence of the child,

I have orphaned myself, seeking the approval of others,
It’s time to love unconditionally, be my own good father and mother.

The deepest part of me knows I am no horrible thing,
Not the monster I have hidden, nor the angst, or the pain.

Surrendering to God, finally too exhausted to hide,
Falling on my sword, my heart is pierced open wide.

The ego, the shadow, the fall from grace,
The Divine design to obscure God’s face

Not evil or bad, just the opportunity to decide,
I now turn towards Spirit, His arms open wide.

We have to forget so we can remember, a game of hide and seek,
This human adventure is not for the faint of heart or the weak.

Relaxing, releasing, falling into faith,
I melt into love, forgiveness and grace.

I think I understand, guilt is love misunderstood.
No more judging myself, no more “should nots” or “shoulds”

I am shedding this dark cloak I have worn for so long,
Emerging from the shadows, vulnerable yet strong.

The pain of separation and feeling alone,
Is healed in this moment, I am finally home.

I understand it takes courage to see the face of the Divine-
Because first I must be willing to see the perfection of mine.

The Unconscious Mind

I just completed an intensive weekend workshop at the University of Santa Monica. It was a powerful weekend devoted to understanding accessing and healing our unconscious mind.

We all have a conscious, subconscious and Superconscious mind. Our conscious mind is the rational thinking part of ourselves and the one charge in our normal waking state. It is the place where free will and choice reside. The Superconscious mind is our Soul Self. Napoleon Hill called it the Infinite Intelligence. Scientists call it the Universal Mind. It is where we are one with our Creator.

The unconscious mind is the buffer in between the conscious and Superconscious mind. It is the place our dreams come from and the place we access when we are hynotized. In the negative, the unconscious mind can be the store house for deep seated guilt, shame, unworthiness and cause us great anguish. In the positive it is the place of profound inspired creativity. The more we release our guilt and shame the more access we have to our infinite creativity.

One very powerful and effective way of clearing out “negative” material in our unconscious mind is through prayer and meditation. Another non-directed way to experience healing is to go into a light meditative state, and flood the unconscious with violet light. Working consciously with our subconscious mind can support us in creating powerful and positive changes in our lives.

As a “Spiritual Scientist” I have committed to doing my “Purple Light Meditation” daily and look forward to witnessing the results in my life – I will keep you posted. If you decide to participate in the experiment, be sure to let me know the results in your life as well!

Happy Lughnasadh!

On Saturday somebody said to me “Happy Lughnasadh” ….my response was “Huh?” I did a little research and found that Lughnasadh is an Irish holiday that marks the beginning of the harvest season and the ripening of first fruits.

This holiday represents that is our work is complete and we have done everything we can - even if the fruits of our labor are not yet evident. It is the time to come together with friends and family in celebration and laughter. If you are anything like me, we right on track! When I have prayed and asked God “What do I do?” I get the intuitive impression that Spirit is responding with “Relax.” Relax? But what do I DO? Relax! I understand now, I have done all I can do for now, it is time to relax and celebrate.

I love Abraham Hicks and I have often heard them say, “Celebrate NOW! Success is immanent!” When we relax and feel good, we are a magnet for good things. Yes, we have to take our action steps, and we have to plant our seeds, but once that part of the process is complete, it is time relax, feel good, be happy and know that great things are on their way.

Have you been taking responsibility for yourself? Have you planted your seeds? Are you relaxing in faith? If so, HAPPY LUGHNASADH TO YOU! Relax, celebrate, be happy - and write to me about your journey, I would love to hear from you!

Self Love

A very interesting week at the Art 4 healing program! I put glitter paint on some of my abstract paintings…much to the chagrin of the teacher. As she was clearly (and loudly) expressing her displeasure about the bling…I felt my heart beating REALLY HARD in my chest, I was confused, wasn’t this course about personal self expression? Should I apologize? Defend myself? Explain myself? Crawl away and hide myself? Instead, I chose not to take it personally, to love my glitter - and to love me.

In the four agreements Author Don Miguel Ruiz tells us not to take anything personally. “Nothing others do is because of you, what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinion and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

As a recovered People Pleaser, this was something really new for me. In the past I would have withered up and died. But this time I did not let the opinion of another (an authority figure no less!) pull me out of my own self approval and self love. I think our biggest hurt and heartache comes from withdrawing our approval from ourselves. If we can learn to love ourselves no matter what, life is so much less painful and so much more fun!

I learned a lot of new techniques and obtained some great healing tools this week (and created some cool glittery paintings!) but the most important thing I learned is that I have come a loooong way on the journey to Self love! I am happy to report I really do like and approve of me….even if others do not! Write to me with your wins about Self-love, it would be great to hear from you!

Try a Little Kindness

Have you ever had the experience where life just flowed along effortlessly, when you felt supported and blessed? Alternatively have you ever felt really stuck, when nothing you do seems to work? I used to get very upset and confused when those “stuck times” occurred. I now look at it differently, I take it as information from the Universe that it is time to relax, go inward and take care of myself.

People often mention how blessed I seem to be and I would agree. However, it wasn’t always this way. When I was mean to myself, life was unkind. Now that I constantly check in with myself and ask the questions “what honors me now?” or “how can I be gentle with myself? “ Life has seemingly transformed in miraculous ways.

Last week I felt a bit stuck. I kept making calls and trying to make things happen, then, I remembered I was preparing to go into an intensive healing art program - the light went on! It was time to go into my cocoon and be quiet and kind to myself. I shifted gears and relaxed. Buddha has said: “There is no out there,” everything that happens is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. So, if you want life to be nicer to you, start being nicer to yourself. Be kind, gentle and honor yourself, then wait for the miracles to happen!

Centering

My husband decided we needed to go on a family vacation this year, so we made plans to take our yacht to Catalina Island. The boys (ages 17 and 11) were very excited. We have a new jet ski, snorkel, fins and various other water toys. It sounds like a fun- filled vacation don’t you think? What we did not anticipate was the rocking and rolling of the sea! Once we arrived at Avalon Bay and got ourselves moored, the rocking really ensued. It wasn’t long before the family was various shades of green.

I descended below deck and as the boat weaved and bobbed, I felt disoriented and nauseas. I realized this could be a pretty painful week. Carl Jung once said “what we resist persists.” I knew it was futile to resist the ocean, so I consciously decided to find center, make peace with situation and make friends with the waves. Life improved immediately.

To center myself, I sink into the area of my solar plexus (right below the belly button) and become aware of the flow of my internal energy. When I sink into my center, I feel very peaceful, present, calm and connected. My husband and his kids needed Dramamine and lots of shore time, while I felt the sea was embracing me, loving me and rocking me to sleep. Once again my “journey to center” and the power of intention vastly improved my vacation - and my life! If you have stories about centering or the power of intention, please share them with me! Also please check out my website at www.journeytocenter.com.

Freedom

If I HAD to choose my favorite holiday, it would be the Fourth of July. For me July represents celebration and freedom - freedom to be alive, to enjoy living, to give full and complete expression to every capacity we possess. To quote Moshe Dayan: “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.”

For the most part I live in a wonderful state of inner freedom. Even though I have always lived in this great nation, I have not always felt free. More than a simple statement about one’s physical location, it is a state of being. When I was unclear in regard to my boundaries or worth, life was scary, overwhelming and painful. Although I was technically “free”, I was too afraid and in too much pain to enjoy it! I have since tightened up my boundaries and have done the inner work necessary to experience true freedom. Now with my healthy boundaries in place, I feel safe, balanced, happy and whole.

I love doing Mandalas, you start with the creation of a clear boundary (the circle), then from that place infinite possibilities are available. In my book Manifesting Love From the Inside Out, I quote Chuck Connradt, a motivational speaker, in my chapter about boundaries: “Freedom is greatest with the boundaries are clearly defined.” Knowing my boundaries and residing in my center is what supports me in experiencing a more consistent state of peace and freedom. Are you free? Write to me and let’s talk about it!

The Creative Process

When we make the decision to open more fully to our creativity, to heal, or to evolve we can be assured that life will change. The journey can be challenging but saying “YES” to these adventures will eventually lead us to our joy, our passion, our purpose and peace.

This weekend I hosted a Sacred Art workshop. One of my regular students, who is typically upbeat and talkative, was very quiet. When I asked her what was going, she told me she had a headache. I offered to massage her head and neck. It soon became apparent that she was holding some painful emotions down. I told her whatever it was she was feeling was fine and to let it come up. Her eyes immediately welled up with tears. She said the image of her goddess she was painting was all covered up with “stuff” and you couldn’t see her. I asked her if SHE felt covered up and unseen. A torrential downpour of tears ensued. The creative process “uncorked” some deep seated issues from her long ago past.

We went to another room and I handed her a pillow. I told her to let her feelings out. I then picked up a pillow and I started screaming into it, she soon joined me. I supported her in exorcizing her suppressed anger, sadness and angst. When she was complete, I asked her how her headache was…she said it was gone.

Erich Fromm, an internationally renowned social psychologist, psychoanalyst, humanistic philosopher was once quoted as saying: “Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.” I know from experience this statement is absolutely true. Creating can be joyful and fulfilling, it can also be overwhelming, painful and confusing. However, if we are willing to keep walking through the process, not only can it relieve us of our physical ailments, it can cleanse our emotions, give clarity to our minds and ultimately sooth our souls.

Are you a “creator,” evolving, or on healing path? If so, write me and share your thoughts or experiences, I would love to hear from you!

Father's Day

Sunday was Fathers day, and several people asked if I was doing anything special for my dad. The answer was no. Dad and I have not spoken in the last couple of years, in fact we have never had much of a relationship at all. It used to make me very sad, and I know the lack of a loving father as a child impacted and influenced me significantly as an adult. I had a multitude of unhealthy, painful relationships and was consistently attracted to men that ignored me or were unavailable. When this painful pattern became abundantly clear, I finally decided to take responsibility for my own healing work. I document this process and support readers in their own healing journey in my book Manifesting Love From the Inside Out.

I believe we become emotional and spiritual adults when we learn love ourselves the way we wanted our parents to love us. Most of us (or perhaps ALL of us) have been raised by imperfect people with their own flaws, trauma and wounds. Profound healing for me occurred when I realized my REAL Father was not my biological father, but God.

So for this Fathers day, I did not get a tie or a card for dad, but I did write my real Father a Thank you letter. Cultivating this relationship has changed my life in profound, positive and powerful ways. I often invite clients to write a letter to God, and allow Spirit to respond in return. They are always surprised by the sense of unconditional love and wisdom they receive. So, if you are ready for more love, support and wisdom in your life, give this simple exercise a try.

I invite you to share any thoughts, revelations with me at J2Center@gmail.com.

Magic!

I had a wonderful trip to Marina Del Rey! Now that life in Idaho has gotten really busy, I go to Los Angeles connect with my friends, relax and play. These qualities are so important to create peace and balance in our lives. While I was there I had “girls night” at my condo. We ordered room service, had some wine and watched Tinkerbelle. So, not only did we have quality girl time - we had some awesome inner child time!

In the story of Tinkerbelle we learn that each fairy is born with a special gift or talent: whether it’s making flowers grow, creating wind and rain, teaching baby birds to fly or giving fireflies their light. Tinker Bell does not believe her fairy talent as a “tinker” is as special or important, because tinkers don’t go to the mainland like the other fairies. But when Tink tries to be something other than who she is, she creates havoc and disaster! With encouragement from her friends, Tink learns that the key to solving her problems is found in her unique abilities … and discovers that when you stay true to yourself, magical things can happen.

Perhaps this movie was created for children, but it shares a beautiful message and a profound truth: We all have our own magic! There is no competition,only cooperation! Each of us is a unique and important piece of the whole puzzle and we all need each other. If we take responsibility for ourselves, cultivate our own gifts, and understand our innate value, life is filled with support, grace and beauty. My prayer is that you know your value and worth. Any thoughts or questions? Write me! Wishing you abundant blessings of magic, miracles and joy.

Tammi

Mandala: Healing with Color

I participated in a workshop this week entitled “Healing with Color.” It was a wonderful opportunity to express ones emotions through the creative process. When students or clients are struggling with anger, grief, confusion or other challenging emotions, I often suggest they do “Stream of Consciousness Writing” or get a tennis racket out and beat up a pillow. This modality is another opportunity to exorcize suppressed fear, anger, hope, desire—the rawest human frailties.

Byproducts of the creative experience are greater self-awareness, the confidence to process feelings and emotions, and the ability to articulate and share these feelings and emotions with others When people express themselves creatively, they can document their experience in a profound way, thus creating a healing environment for themselves.

It is my greatest intention, hope and joy to support and empower others on their creative journey and I look forward to adding this to my tool box of workshops in the very near future.

In the meantime, if anyone reading this is experiencing any intense feelings, go inside and ask “what color (or colors) and shape is this feeling?” If you feel compelled, give it expression with crayons, paint, pens, pencils, markers or anything else that calls to you. Allow the process to unfold organically, without censorship or judgment. You may find that you feel better and more “clear” afterwards. You may also have profound revelations. If you decide to explore this creative healing process, please write me and share your personal experience.

Mandala Monday

Well it is Mandala Monday - what does that mean? Every Monday I will be posting a new blog and a new original image of one of my Mandalas. Mandala is Sanskrit for “sacred circle” or “container of essence.” I have been creating them sine 2002. I stumbled upon them accidentally while completing a masters program in spiritual psychology. Everyday for a week, we would do a brief guided meditation, ask our hearts for a healing symbol, then create the image that had come forth. That experience changed my life!

Beautiful colors and patterns emerged in my minds eye and reproducing them provided me with a sense of peace that I had never known. It felt as if my soul was humming. My drawings soon evolved into paintings. I have since became a “Certified Mandala Facilitator” and worked with children, troubled teens, women in prison, the educational system and many individuals. The process never ceases to amaze me.

All of us have such beauty and wisdom within, however, most of us are not taught how to effectively access these gifts. The Mandala is a tool, map or guide to the center of our being and for me it has truly revealed the kingdom of heaven within.

So just now, if your would like, take a cleansing breath, consider an area in your life that you would like support or clarity around, then close your eyes and ask your heart to reveal the perfect healing symbol for you right now. This symbol can give you solace and healing on many levels. And, if you feel so compelled, create this symbol with pencils, crayons, markers paint or any other medium that calls to you. Then write me with any comments, questions or to share your experience I would love to hear from you!

About Tammi

My name is Tammi Baliszewski, welcome to my blog. I have a Ph. D in Holistic Life Counseling, am a hypnotherapist, artist, sacred art facilitator and a published author. Actually I am much more than that….I am a hairdresser and makeup artist, am a member of the Screen Actors Guild (I have been in several TV shows, commercials and a couple of films), I have been in Playboy, have been courted by the rich and famous and am now a wife and step-mother. I am also a teacher and a perpetual student. However, my resume and experiences are not who I am - just as what you do (think or feel) is not who you are.

The most powerful lesson I have learned thus far, is that we are much more than we know. None of us are simply our talents, education, abilities, income, jobs, careers, gender, social status, sexual preference, marital status, wounds, accomplishments, appearance or anything else we can identify by any worldly measure- we are aspects of the Infinite, we are our souls.

What does that mean exactly? That is what I will be addressing in this blog – life as a spiritual journey. Some spiritual teachings tell us that the purpose for our life is joy. When I first heard this, I did not understand or agree with it. Now I couldn’t agree more. I want to support you in also understanding life as a celebration, dialogue and connection with the Divine. This can be done in every arena of our lives: relationships, crisis, careers, health, finances and more. So stay tuned…this is going to be an adventure!

Let me know if you are blogging or tweeting about your journey. I'd love to connect with you!