Monday, June 13, 2016

Freedom Through Forgiveness



The most precious commodity any of us have as human beings is our energy; our life force. Do you want to deplete your precious life force throwing imaginary poisoned darts at someone, or would you like use that energy to create a life of beauty, miracles and great love? 
   
Did you know humans are the only species that thinks about, dwells on and relives the past? As we relive memories, we reactivate the energy around it. If the memories are positive this can be a good thing. If they are negative, this can impact us in detrimental ways. Not only do we reintroduce and circulate poison into our system, as we “chew on” past hurts, blame, shame, guilt and regret, we also give our power away.

There are two ways we can live our lives, victim or empowered. As long as we choose not to forgive we remain in the victim posture.  The way we can start to take our power back is when we look at any painful situation or circumstance and ask ourselves:  “What is my soul trying to learn here?”  We become empowered when we take responsibility for ourselves and our circumstances. We become further empowered when we can forgive the other people that were involved in that situation, and leave their karma up to them and a Higher Power. This is how we become whole and create the space for a love-based life that overflows with grace. 


Though it is appropriate, and actually part of the healing process, to be angry if you have experienced a boundary invasion, disrespect, or abuse of any kind, it eventually becomes harmful to yourself if held on to for an extended period of time. 





I set the intention for forgiveness long ago. Not because I wanted to actually forgive this person who “did horrible things to me” but because I wanted to be free. I wanted to live an awesome, prosperous, love-based life. I realized after several years of mentally and emotionally holding this person (and a few others) in my "energetic prison I realized freedom and an empowered life was never going to be mine.  So I finally opened my mind, consciously invited God into this situation, and asked for help in taking the hate out of my heart, along with any and all judgement, negativity and ”unforgiveness.” I had suffered enough, I finally was open to forgiveness. 


I worked on forgiveness for quite a while, through prayer and meditation. Then one day, I saw him, and guess what? The hatred and anger was gone. In its place was a sense of equanimity, compassion and even a little bit of affection. And boy, I have to say, this sure did feel a lot better than the knife in the gut, the clenching of my heart, and the churning of my stomach. 


I did not forgive this man for him, but for me.  I have no doubt forgiving him played a big part in my improved health. Disease is caused by dis-ease in our mental and emotional realms, which in turn takes up residence in our bodies and the physical realm.   My judgment and anger caused great discomfort inside of me and manifested in many different ways. This discomfort is now gone and my health is now optimal and vibrant. And for this I give thanks to my consciousness for setting the intention and for the grace of God which ushered in the healing. 


In addition to the health benefits, I am confident forgiveness helped me with my career, it upleveled my income, helped me to attract better people and improved other relationships. Making the choice to forgive played a big part in me becoming a more peaceful, confident, happy, prosperous and empowered human being. 


Long held anger is toxic. It affects and infects every area of your life.


Eckhart Tolle says it this way: “With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves and your true power emerges – the power of presence. Instead of blaming the darkness you bring in the light.”


When we boil it all down, I believe we incarnate for three reasons:

1.       1. To experience our karma (to be on the receiving end of our actions from the past)

2.       2. To learn the lessons of love (which really needs to start and end with ourselves)

3.       3. To have a good time (for the joy of the physical dimension and human adventure)


Although it is hard to get to number 3 if we haven’t done at least some of the work with numbers 1 and 2. 


Forgiveness of others, and ourselves, is the “big guns” and master cleanser of karma.  Holding onto negativity takes a lot of energy. We become free through forgiveness. This not only frees up energy in our bodies, it gives us more energy for the things we love, the things that matter. As we forgive, we are forgiven and we ascend in our consciousness.  From this higher altitude we attract and manifest very kinds of different people, circumstances and experiences.



If you choose not to forgive, your choosing to not be in your loving. This is what disconnects us from God - and all of our pain comes from our perceived disconnection from God.



Forgiveness does not mean we give the person who hurt us a big thumbs up if they really did something heinous, nor do we necessarily invite them to lunch. What we do is bless them on their path and leave the consequence of their behavior, and their karma, up to them and the Universe. We are no longer trying to be the judge and jury. We are leaving their behavior and actions up to the “Big Judge and Jury.” And what I know for sure is that all of us will all be accountable, and have to take responsibility, for our actions, thoughts and deeds.  Whatever we do unto others will be done to us: Whatever we put out, we will get back. This is spiritual law. 


Forgiveness is a choice. We may not be able to choose to wipe away the hurt that someone has caused but we can choose to cast off the bitterness, anger, and feelings of the need for revenge and justice. How? Trust in God, believe His word, and turn judgment over to Him. Once we let God take over, we can start to let the negative feelings go.  ~Elmer Laydon



Everything is allowed, but we get to choose who we play with.  If you danced for a while with someone that betrayed, disappointed, stole, lied, cheated or did something else that hurt you, perhaps you were cleaning up karma from another lifetime. Or perhaps you were trying to learn the soul lessons of discernment, or boundaries.  If you don’t get your soul lessons, if you chose not to forgive, the karmic dance continues, the negativity shall persist and the patterns will not change. The toxic energy stays in the body, in your energy field and your life. Thus the negativity will certainly be a part of your future. And even if this person goes away, you will attract other people and situations that are vibrating at this same frequency. 


If you want a different future, clean up your past. Forgiveness is the most powerful and effective way to do this.



When you forgive, it doesn't mean you accept their behavior or trust this person again.You forgive so you can move forward in your life in a way that is light, comfortable, love based & joyful.



As I have asked for the ability to forgive, I have increased my capacity for clarity and compassion. People simply do not “do these kinds of things,” and “behave in this way” if they are healthy, whole human beings..  From a lower point of view, it was a negative energetic dance, and an angry argument. From a higher point of view, there is an awareness, this person really does not feel good, they are not OK. 

I also have come to learn we attract people who treat us like we treat ourselves. I was disrespected, because I didn't respect myself. I allowed abuse because I did not like,love or appreciate myself. This awareness helped me have compassion for myself, for this other person, and for the roles we played in each others lives.  


Forgiveness will help you and your world sparkle and shine.  And once your forgiveness is complete, you will understand there was nothing to forgive. The people you held in judgment were cast in the drama of your life, BY you, and FOR you. You will see the perfection of the relationships and interactions. It was all in service to your healing, upliftment and growth.  These circumstances occurred as an opportunity to help you clean up your karma, learn the lessons of love and experience heaven on earth - If you are ready and if you really want it.  I hope you join me and say yes to this incredible healing adventure and joyful journey.




And if you are opening your mind to forgiveness, be patient with yourself, it rarely happens all at once. Forgiveness tends to happen slowly or in layers. What once was a huge cable that negatively connects you to another, can then become a wire, when can then become a string of yarn, then a thread, then snap! Nothing! And you are clear, you are clean and you are free to live your life of great love, heaven on earth, miracles and magnificent blessings! 

Be the change you want to see in the world.  If you want a more peaceful loving world, become more peaceful and loving within yourself. Take care of the garden of your life. Forgiveness uproots the toxic weeds, so the exquisite flowers of love can take root and help create the Garden of Eden in your own realty, which in turn will positively and beautifully transform the world - from the inside out.


Please be in touch with me at tammibphd@gmail.com if you would like my “Freedom through Forgiveness” guided meditation and/or if you have any thoughts, stories, insights you would like to share.


Sending you blessings of grace, ease, peace, freedom and great love,



Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D.
www.tammibphd.com
tammibphd@gmail.com














Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Magic of Maketai!



Why the name Maketai? Well, let me tell you a little story.

Years ago I was REALLY struggling.  A friend of mine then shared this quote from Meister Eckhart with me:  “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”  I retorted: “Yea, that’s easy for YOU to say. I was just dumped, I am broke and I am sick, while you have a great boyfriend, a career you love, and you are healthy!” I was doing my best to convince her I was a victim, but she would have none of it.  After a thoughtful moment, she asked me: “Well, were you grateful for the good things before the bad things started to happen?”  This question took me off guard and more than a moment to digest. I had to be honest. No. I could not remember the last time I uttered a prayer of gratitude or said thank you to anyone. I was too bogged down in my depressing, soul-sucking, pathetic, pity party.

My girlfriend continued to dispense her tidbits of wisdom: “Perhaps that’s why things went off track. Maybe it’s time to start being grateful, and maybe that will get you back on track.” Boy this was annoying, but maybe I should listen. Her life was clearly going  a LOT better than mine. I thought for a moment and then said: “This going to be TOUGH!”  So, she gave me a few gratitude prompts.  “Well, are you breathing?” Um, yes. “And do you have enough food to eat.” Well, yea. I was broke but I could eat.  “You have a roof over your head?”  Yes, I have a crappy little apartment, but I AM warm, safe and dry. She continued "And transportation?" OK, so I have my ancient, yet dependable Jeep.  "Alrighty then,"  she said in her irritating, uplifting and chipper way "We are off to a great start!"

I purchased a journal at her suggestion and wrote Meister Eckharts quote in the front. Then I started and ended each day considering what I was grateful for. And the more I looked, the more I found. I did have a couple of good friends. I appreciated my relationship with my sisters and my mom. I loved the flowers that were growing outside of my apartment. I was grateful for the park across the street. The weather was often nice. And a funny thing started to happen. As I kept thinking about what I was grateful for, my list started to grow quite large.Then some good things started to happen!  As I thanked God for my creativity I sold a piece of art, and then some jewelry. As I was grateful for my massage clients, they referred other clients to me AND my tips started to get bigger. Gratitude seems to be shifting my life from the downward spiral to more of an upward ascent. 

I started saying "Thank you" anytime someone opened a door for me, or gave me a compliment, or offered to pick up the check for lunch. It was hard at first, but I practiced and breathed through my discomfort, and it eventually got easier. Living a life of THANK YOU was NOT natural for me. I was more comfortable giving than receiving.  Being open and gracious made me feel exposed, vulnerable and out of control.  But I knew this is what I needed to do.  And so I kept saying thank you to anyone and everyone who offered a kindness of any size or kind. 

Gratitude was not only healing my broken heart, it was helping me live with a more open, receptive and gracious heart. 

Then there were times my prayers were simply "Thank You" as Meister Eckhart suggested. Not for anything in particular, just sitting in the energy and experience of gratitude directed towards the Universe. This was my meditation.  And I know it helped me start to feel more comfortable in my skin and more at home within myself.  I noticed on the days I did my thank you prayer meditation,  I felt happy. Not because of anything in particular, just often happy for no reason (which I believe is the best kind of happy of all!).

I knew I was getting good at this thank you thing, when challenging or "bad" things happened and I would look for the soul level learnings, the opportunities, or for ANYTHING to be grateful for.  I was no longer indulging endlessly in my pity parties....I was becoming empowered through gratitude!  

Years later, I met a wonderful man, he told me he loved my energy, how I was often happy for no reason and how I was naturally gracious. (I may or may not have mentioned this was not necessarily natural, but a "muscle" I had been working on for a while). When people ask how and why this relationship works, I say; “Because I lead with gratitude every day.” 

My finances also started to uplevel and today I make good money doing what I love. People who “knew me when” talk about how much I have changed and ask me how I made this shift from poverty to prosperity and from sadness to success.  I credit meditating, following my joy, and yes, GRATITUDE! 


The bottom line is this, your life will expand or contract in direct proportion to your gratitude - or lack thereof. 

Additionally my physical self has experienced a radical transformation. My chronic fatigue and debilitating health challenges have been healed. And rather than struggling with dieting and working out 2-3 hours a day, I easily maintain my ideal weight and feel incredibility healthy. I sleep well, eat well, and appreciate my body immensely. 

Did all of this happen overnight? No. But I know my healthy, wealthy, love-based life could have NEVER have happened at all, without my friend sharing her knowledge AND without me taking responsibility for my consistent practice of appreciation. 

I have literally gone from living hell on earth, to living heaven on earth. And gratitude was the ladder and bridge that ushered me to this more empowered and magical way of being.

As I continue to live in grace, graciousness and gratitude, life keeps showing up in more expanded, glorious and wonderful ways!  There are days I need to pinch myself, ground myself, and remind myself to breathe as the synchronicity can, at times, become almost overwhelming. Then I ask myself, "How good can I stand things to get?"  We cannot attract and have more than we can handle to receive. So I stretch, breath, say thank you and receive! 

Gratitude helped me shift from self loathing to self love. And self love is the solid foundation we all need to manifest the life of our dreams, which we all deserve and desire.  

Today I live in my dream house, with the most amazing man I have ever known, I enjoy vibrant health, and I even have HORSES! The most magnificent and fabulous fantasy of my childhood self!

Recently when my friend Candice's horse Lena had her foal, which was both of ours, we were considering names for the little guy.  Was it Raja? Blaze? (He has an adorable marking of a crescent on his forehead.) Maybe Lunar? Eclipse? Shooting Star?  Hmmmm, maybe. But we were not clear.  Candice said, I’m not sure, but I have to say I am so grateful for him and that he is so adorable and healthy! Yes I said! ME TOO!  Because I was abundantly clear, I am living my dreams and I have this little horse because of gratitude! And I am not going to stop being grateful now, or ever!





We both decided to pray, listen, and allow the Universe to help us find the “perfect name” for our miracle baby. Then we both said thank you in advance.   That night I was reading a book called "Sister Jaguars Journey"  for an interview I was doing the next day.  The author, Sister Judy Bisignana, is a Dominican nun who spent time with an Indigenous tribe in the Amazon Rain forest.  She was sharing some of their language, and then I read the word “Maketai.” Which means “thank you” in language of the Achuar.  I stopped breathing, and I had goosebumps EVERYWHERE! I thought to myself  THAT'S IT! Excitedly I called Candice.  When I shared the story and this word, Maketai, she said: “OH my goodness this is amazing! I have goosebumps everywhere! THAT'S IT!” 

The next day I did my interview with Sister Judy and my producer Remy, I asked Sister Judy about this word Maketai, she said it is a very powerful and beautiful world in the Achuar culture. She said when they say it they often put their hands together as if in prayer and bow in reverence as they say it. I told them they story about maybe naming our baby Maketai. Then they both said at the same time: “I have goosebumps!” It was abundantly clear, our beautiful baby boy is THANK YOU AKA Maketai!

Thank you Universe for being so gracious, generous, loving, lovely and clear!

Miracles are an everyday occurrence and I am guided with grace. My life is filled with magical, astonishing, synchronistic  blessings.  And of course I attribute this to expressing appreciation, saying thank you, uttering prayers of gratitude, and living the mantra of Maketai!   

We all manifest what we can hold for. And we all have an inner container. We cannot manifest the contents of a swimming pool if our inner container is a thimble. And we expand our inner container as we open our hearts in gratitude.  As we can hold for more, we manifesting more. And as we expand in gratitude, not only do we attract miracles and blessings of the body, mind, the physical world and spirit, we become miracle workers and way showers for others. Just like my friend did for me all those years ago. And just as I want to for anyone who wants a more beautiful, blessed, bountiful and empowered life. 

So when people come to me, bogged down in the throes of a painful pity party, I share with them the words of Meister Eckhart and the wisdom that changed my life: “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”  And if they say, yea that's easy for you to say, look at your life!"  I say, let me tell you a little story.......

And so I am grateful for this healing journey and my human adventure, I am grateful for the Universe, it's love, patience and gifts of grace.

 And I am so very grateful for YOU!  If you would like to recieve my "Expanding in Graititude"  meditation, please be in touch with me at tammibphd@gmail.com and I will send you the MP3 as a gift from my heart to yours.

Maketai, Maketai, Maketai

And so it is.

Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D
www.tammibhd.com
tammibphd@gmail.com  

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

You Are Royalty!






You are special in all the Universe! Of all the trillions of people, animals and life forms ever created, there has never been, and will never be another you! So, are you enjoying your unique expression? Are you celebrating your amazingness?  I don’t think most people are, and I think that is why most people suffer.

There is a saying in A Course in Miracles, “All of God’s children are special and none of God’s children are special.” This is because we are all made of the same glorious and magical “star stuff.” So many people (including myself) have struggled to “prove” themselves. Our society seems to promote competition as a way of being: In education, in sports, beauty contests and more. Many of us have been programmed to believe “If someone else wins, then I lose.”  And “There is only so much pie and I have to fight to get my slice!” 

This attitude promotes an ego-based way of being. Ego is sometimes used as an acronym for Edging God Out. And the ego can be a beast! It is a false mask which can become very heavy, burdensome and uncomfortable. It is roller coaster way of being where we believe “I am better than everyone” and then “I am worse than everyone.” And on and on it goes. 

There is no peace riding on the roller coaster of an ego based life!

I will suggest to anyone who will listen, consider a different way of being.  Open your mind to living from IGO. Inviting God Only. If someone is breathing, and their heart is beating, they are not doing this on their own. There is a force in all of us that is the spark of the Divine. Once I really thought about this and claimed it, I relaxed. I also became more open, authentic, present, respectful, compassionate and entertained by myself and others.

When we live from IGO, we can surrender the idea of competition and settle into cooperation. Rather than againstness, opposition and conflict, we created togetherness, teamwork and connection.  There is no more fighting for the pie. We realize there is more than enough to go around. In fact we can all have our own whole pie! And to make this EVEN BETTER, we do not have to settle for apple, or mincemeat, when we really want coconut cream pie!

We all deserve to celebrate ourselves and celebrate others. If you can imagine dancing in a big circle, sometimes we get to be in the center of the circle and be celebrated, and sometimes we are on the sidelines celebrating others. Our ego would have us puff up and play bigger than we are and say:  “I have to be in the center all the time.” The ego can also have us play smaller than we are and say: “I will hide in the background and sit on sidelines all the time.”

Everyone’s life is a reflection of their thoughts and beliefs. And as we claim, define and refine a more love based way of being within ourselves, our outer reality cannot help but follow suit.

Everyone is wired differently and everyone has awesome and unique gifts. I am blown away at what others can do. I also acknowledge that I have awesome and unique gifts – and so do you! Joyful celebration starts to occur when we give love and acknowledgement  generously, and receive love and acknowledgment graciously.  

 Something remarkable, healing, powerful and empowering happens when we realize WE ARE ALL SO AWESOME!

I have heard it said most humans are like princes and princesses playing around trash cans. If you want, and if you are ready, it is time for you to take your rightful place as a prince or princess on the planet. And remember everybody you meet is royalty too!

The truest truth is you are God's child and a royal heir to the Universe. He loves you unconditionally and immensely. You have great wisdom within you. You have valuable gifts. You possess unique propensities and talents. Can you relax and receive these truths? Are you ready to claim and embody this reality? If so, you will start to move in a more positive direction immediately. And if you choose to live from IGO consistently your life CAN and WILL be amazing!

For more about claiming your awesomeness, check out my website, books, guided meditations and free Prosperity Program at www.tammibphd.com and be in touch with any thoughts, questions, revelations or anything else you’d to share.






I am sending you, my soul sibling of royalty, blessings of grace, ease, appreciation, peace, celebration, prosperity and great love,

Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D.
www.tammibphd.com
tammibphd@gmail.com

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Being Your Own Valentine




Ah yes, here we are, close to one of my most favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day! And with an estimated 62% of our US population celebrating it, this make Valentine’s Day one of our countries most popular holidays.  


The history goes back quite far but was first associated with romantic love in the High Middle Ages. In 18th-century England, it evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards. And so it is in our modern society, the tradition of flowers, cards, chocolates, candlelit dinners and romance.  

Many people come to me around this time of the year, with woeful tales of being single. I tell them this is GREAT! What a wonderful time to really create a solid foundation so they can attract the perfect partner for them.  If they look at me with confusion, I continue by saying: Our relationship with ourselves is the bedrock and foundation for every other relationship we have. No relationship, romantic or otherwise, can exceed the quality of the one we have with ourselves. 


Years ago, I was telling my own woeful tale of relationships gone wrong. Everyone seemed to grow tired of my sad stories, so I decided to have a heart to heart with God. “GOD!  Where is my Valentine? Where is my true love? Why can’t I find a man who will love, adore, and cherish me?!” I got a response. Something clear and powerful dropped into my awareness: “Love, adore and cherish yourself, and he will come!” What? Love adore and cherish myself? Wow, that sounded AWFUL. I retorted: “Isn’t there another way? I’ll do anything but that!”  Another clear message dropped into my consciousness: “Not unless you want to play games for the rest of your life.” I will admit, games were fun in my 20’s. However, in my 30’s they no longer held the same appeal, and was abundantly clear I did not want to be playing games in my 40’s and beyond. 


And so I set the intention to become own Valentine. I treated myself the way I wanted my future lover to treat me. I got cards for myself and said the things I wanted to hear to the reflection in the mirror. I become more present and loving as I made nourishing meals…and even lit candles! I bought beautiful bouquets of flowers for myself, and was gracious and grateful to the beauty and aroma they offered my environment.  I looked for many creative ways to express gratitude FOR me and ABOUT me. 


Though most of these things felt strange, silly and uncomfortable at first, it got easier somewhere along the line.  After a while, being kind to me started to feel more natural. I started to like myself, I began to love myself.  I started to relax into the place of peace, comfort, safety, celebration and love within. Then something interesting started to happen - people started treating me better.  I was starting to hear the things I was saying to the girl in the mirror from other people.  My life started to shift in countless positive and powerful ways.


Then it happened. I met a really lovely man. He was kind, he was thoughtful, he respected me and cherished me.  This was so different than any other kind of man I have ever encountered. Or was it?  It occurred to me, maybe there were always lots of wonderful men around me, but maybe I was not attracted to them because I was not lovely to myself!  


I have come to learn we attract, and are attracted to, people who treat us the way we treat ourselves. Like attracts like and water always finds its own level.  So the problem with bad relationships is never about the “out there” and the other people, they are about the “in here” and our relationship with ourselves. Those people and situations are just reflections of our deeper sense of self. When we change our sense of self, who we see as our reflection naturally changes.



So how do you want to be treated and what would you like another to say to you? Now consider how YOU can treat yourself that way, and say the things to yourself that you would like to hear. 


The road to love can be confusing at first, but then becomes very clear once we authentically care for and appreciate ourselves. But for those that still struggle, I share the way out of the fog and into clarity in my book and guide to true love: “Manifesting Love From the Inside Out.” And now, years later, I have helped thousands of people manifest their life-long Valentine and true love. The bottom line is we cannot manifest love, until we become love. 


And once become love, we are no longer so attached to what things look like around us, we are so happy being love, doing loving things and sharing love. But something interesting happens when we start residing in this space, we become very energetically attractive. Like flowers that towards the sun, people are drawn to us, miracles happen around us, heaven on earth is no longer some fantasy or distant far away notion.   Like attracts like and love begets love. 


So if you want to attract a Valentine, If you want to live a life of greater peace and purpose, set the intention to love yourself, unconditionally, completely and wholeheartedly. You and your life will be transformed. Love will then be the natural consequence and unavoidable side effect.  


If you would like more support, I am making a PDF of my book "Manifesting Love From the Inside Out" available for $7.99 and including 3 guided meditations. I am also giving away my an MP3 Self Love Guided Meditation as a gift. Just email me at tammibphd@gmail.com and let me know how I can help you.




You are the light of the world. You are the child in whom God is well pleased. If you knew how truly beautiful you are, you would never stop celebrating!



Sending you blessings of healing, wholeness, grace, ease and great love, 

Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D.
www.tammibphd.com
tammibphd@gmail.com