Monday, October 2, 2017

Compassion as a Way of Being

We live on a planet of free will and choice, and while most of us would agree, we want people to be kind and loving, not everyone will make this choice. 

As long as we are given the choice to create from fear or love, there will be those who live more from a place of fear and disconnection.  I have been there myself, and you know what? It’s awful and it hurts! And hurt people hurt people. 

How others behave is their karma, how you chose to respond is yours. So when you witness “bad people doing bad things” what is your response? Do you jump on the band wagon and want to see this person lynched up, punished or maybe even destroyed? Or, can you take a step back? Can you try to understand where this person is within themselves and why they would make this kind of choice? 

It is easy to have compassion for victims. It is not as easy to have compassion for perpetrators. And it is the emotion of empathy and quality of compassion that separates mere mortals from ascended masters; those who perceive the world through the limited perspective of simply being human, from those who see our reality through a higher perspective of spiritual beings having a human experience. 

My spiritual teachers once told me “The only emotion left for the fully realized human being is infinite unbearable compassion.”  What I know for sure is that anyone who lives for very long as a human being on planet earth will not avoid pain.  In the movie “The Shack,” God says to one who is suffering “You want the promise of a pain free life…there isn’t one.” So the question becomes, how do you want to deal with the universal quality and experience of pain?

Years ago I got a call that a friend of mine was murdered, I got very cold, and started shaking. I realized I was going into shock. I started to run around this house, and considered things I could do to stop in the profound intensity of this pain. I thought to myself, I could have drink, or take a pill, but I realized there was nothing I could do to avoid the anguish I was feeling, so rather than running from it, I surrendered it - I fell to my knees, and I prayed.  I said to God repeatedly, "This makes no sense, this makes no sense, this makes no sense!!" What I got in return was "This will never make sense from your limited human perspective, you have to trust in Me, there is a higher order, someday you will understand." I realize if I want to live in peace, I MUST rest in this knowingness.

In Don Miguel’s Ruiz’ book “The Mastery of Love” He invited us to visualize living on a planet where everyone has a terrible skin disease. People are covered with wounds that are infected and everyone is in a great deal of pain, and this is considered normal.  Can you imagine how these people are going to treat each other?   Well, as humans we all have terrible infections and a disease, but rather than physical (which we could see) it is emotional (which we cannot see). This disease is fear and it can wreak havoc with our lives and ripple out and negatively affect others and the world.

The most important thing we can do is to admit we are hurting and start having compassion for ourselves. A second transformational healing practice is to allow and receive the compassion of Spirit and the angels to pour down over us and imbue us in body, mind and spirit. It is important look at our lives and be honest about the things that have broken our hearts and then hold ourselves in a place of gentleness, sweetness, acknowledgement and compassion.  It can be akin to seeing ourselves objectively, and speaking the words of kindness and empathy, then treating ourselves as we would a small child who we adore, or an innocent animal who we have immense love for. 

When I talked to Dr. Eben Alexander about his near death experience and his time with God, he spoke of the immense compassion God has for all of his children and that He is aware of how much it hurts to perceive being disconnected from God/Love for even a second or mere moment. Many people live their whole lives from the perception of disconnection. This breaks Gods heart and it can break ours. When we hurt, or observe hurting people who are making "bad choices", we can choose to build walls around ourselves, or we can allow it to break us open. 

We heal when we bring love and compassion to the places inside that hurt. And once we do this for ourselves, we can start bringing the healing quality of compassion to others and to the world.   

When we start living life and seeing others with this awareness, it can help us open our hearts rather than close them down. And rather than leap to a judgment and anger when someone flips you off in traffic, when you read something in the news of a terrible shooting or your experience a personal tragedy, your involuntary knee jerk response is not one reacting from unprocessed hurt and woundedness, but rather someone who is healing up and seeing this reality from a more spiritually mature and deeply compassionate  perspective.  This in turn is what will ripple out and positively affect others and the world. 

In a world that is primarily fear-based, are you part of the problem (living from fear, disconnection and judgment) or part of the solution (living from love, alignment and compassion)? 

Mahatma Gandhi shared some wonderful wisdom and an elegant invitation when he said:  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If you want to live in a more compassionate, peaceful world, cultivate the qualities of compassion and peace for and within yourself. The natural side effect is that you will effectively bring more of these qualities to our sweet, beautiful planet and her many hurting inhabitants. 

If you would like to open your heart and mind to greater compassion for yourself, so that you can more effectively share this vital and healing quality with the world, please email me at and request my "Cultivating Self Compassion" guided meditation. 

I invite you to be in touch and let me know how you are doing.

Sending you blessings of grace, ease, peace, sweetness, compassion, gratitude and great love, 

Tammi Baliszsewski, Ph.D.

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