Monday, June 13, 2016

Freedom Through Forgiveness

The most precious commodity any of us have as human beings is our energy; our life force. Do you want to deplete your precious life force throwing imaginary poisoned darts at someone, or would you like use that energy to create a life of beauty, miracles and great love? 
Did you know humans are the only species that thinks about, dwells on and relives the past? As we relive memories, we reactivate the energy around it. If the memories are positive this can be a good thing. If they are negative, this can impact us in detrimental ways. Not only do we reintroduce and circulate poison into our system, as we “chew on” past hurts, blame, shame, guilt and regret, we also give our power away.

There are two ways we can live our lives, victim or empowered. As long as we choose not to forgive we remain in the victim posture.  The way we can start to take our power back is when we look at any painful situation or circumstance and ask ourselves:  “What is my soul trying to learn here?”  We become empowered when we take responsibility for ourselves and our circumstances. We become further empowered when we can forgive the other people that were involved in that situation, and leave their karma up to them and a Higher Power. This is how we become whole and create the space for a love-based life that overflows with grace. 

Though it is appropriate, and actually part of the healing process, to be angry if you have experienced a boundary invasion, disrespect, or abuse of any kind, it eventually becomes harmful to yourself if held on to for an extended period of time. 

I set the intention for forgiveness long ago. Not because I wanted to actually forgive this person who “did horrible things to me” but because I wanted to be free. I wanted to live an awesome, prosperous, love-based life. I realized after several years of mentally and emotionally holding this person (and a few others) in my "energetic prison I realized freedom and an empowered life was never going to be mine.  So I finally opened my mind, consciously invited God into this situation, and asked for help in taking the hate out of my heart, along with any and all judgement, negativity and ”unforgiveness.” I had suffered enough, I finally was open to forgiveness. 

I worked on forgiveness for quite a while, through prayer and meditation. Then one day, I saw him, and guess what? The hatred and anger was gone. In its place was a sense of equanimity, compassion and even a little bit of affection. And boy, I have to say, this sure did feel a lot better than the knife in the gut, the clenching of my heart, and the churning of my stomach. 

I did not forgive this man for him, but for me.  I have no doubt forgiving him played a big part in my improved health. Disease is caused by dis-ease in our mental and emotional realms, which in turn takes up residence in our bodies and the physical realm.   My judgment and anger caused great discomfort inside of me and manifested in many different ways. This discomfort is now gone and my health is now optimal and vibrant. And for this I give thanks to my consciousness for setting the intention and for the grace of God which ushered in the healing. 

In addition to the health benefits, I am confident forgiveness helped me with my career, it upleveled my income, helped me to attract better people and improved other relationships. Making the choice to forgive played a big part in me becoming a more peaceful, confident, happy, prosperous and empowered human being. 

Long held anger is toxic. It affects and infects every area of your life.

Eckhart Tolle says it this way: “With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves and your true power emerges – the power of presence. Instead of blaming the darkness you bring in the light.”

When we boil it all down, I believe we incarnate for three reasons:

1.       1. To experience our karma (to be on the receiving end of our actions from the past)

2.       2. To learn the lessons of love (which really needs to start and end with ourselves)

3.       3. To have a good time (for the joy of the physical dimension and human adventure)

Although it is hard to get to number 3 if we haven’t done at least some of the work with numbers 1 and 2. 

Forgiveness of others, and ourselves, is the “big guns” and master cleanser of karma.  Holding onto negativity takes a lot of energy. We become free through forgiveness. This not only frees up energy in our bodies, it gives us more energy for the things we love, the things that matter. As we forgive, we are forgiven and we ascend in our consciousness.  From this higher altitude we attract and manifest very kinds of different people, circumstances and experiences.

If you choose not to forgive, your choosing to not be in your loving. This is what disconnects us from God - and all of our pain comes from our perceived disconnection from God.

Forgiveness does not mean we give the person who hurt us a big thumbs up if they really did something heinous, nor do we necessarily invite them to lunch. What we do is bless them on their path and leave the consequence of their behavior, and their karma, up to them and the Universe. We are no longer trying to be the judge and jury. We are leaving their behavior and actions up to the “Big Judge and Jury.” And what I know for sure is that all of us will all be accountable, and have to take responsibility, for our actions, thoughts and deeds.  Whatever we do unto others will be done to us: Whatever we put out, we will get back. This is spiritual law. 

Forgiveness is a choice. We may not be able to choose to wipe away the hurt that someone has caused but we can choose to cast off the bitterness, anger, and feelings of the need for revenge and justice. How? Trust in God, believe His word, and turn judgment over to Him. Once we let God take over, we can start to let the negative feelings go.  ~Elmer Laydon

Everything is allowed, but we get to choose who we play with.  If you danced for a while with someone that betrayed, disappointed, stole, lied, cheated or did something else that hurt you, perhaps you were cleaning up karma from another lifetime. Or perhaps you were trying to learn the soul lessons of discernment, or boundaries.  If you don’t get your soul lessons, if you chose not to forgive, the karmic dance continues, the negativity shall persist and the patterns will not change. The toxic energy stays in the body, in your energy field and your life. Thus the negativity will certainly be a part of your future. And even if this person goes away, you will attract other people and situations that are vibrating at this same frequency. 

If you want a different future, clean up your past. Forgiveness is the most powerful and effective way to do this.

When you forgive, it doesn't mean you accept their behavior or trust this person again.You forgive so you can move forward in your life in a way that is light, comfortable, love based & joyful.

As I have asked for the ability to forgive, I have increased my capacity for clarity and compassion. People simply do not “do these kinds of things,” and “behave in this way” if they are healthy, whole human beings..  From a lower point of view, it was a negative energetic dance, and an angry argument. From a higher point of view, there is an awareness, this person really does not feel good, they are not OK. 

I also have come to learn we attract people who treat us like we treat ourselves. I was disrespected, because I didn't respect myself. I allowed abuse because I did not like,love or appreciate myself. This awareness helped me have compassion for myself, for this other person, and for the roles we played in each others lives.  

Forgiveness will help you and your world sparkle and shine.  And once your forgiveness is complete, you will understand there was nothing to forgive. The people you held in judgment were cast in the drama of your life, BY you, and FOR you. You will see the perfection of the relationships and interactions. It was all in service to your healing, upliftment and growth.  These circumstances occurred as an opportunity to help you clean up your karma, learn the lessons of love and experience heaven on earth - If you are ready and if you really want it.  I hope you join me and say yes to this incredible healing adventure and joyful journey.

And if you are opening your mind to forgiveness, be patient with yourself, it rarely happens all at once. Forgiveness tends to happen slowly or in layers. What once was a huge cable that negatively connects you to another, can then become a wire, when can then become a string of yarn, then a thread, then snap! Nothing! And you are clear, you are clean and you are free to live your life of great love, heaven on earth, miracles and magnificent blessings! 

Be the change you want to see in the world.  If you want a more peaceful loving world, become more peaceful and loving within yourself. Take care of the garden of your life. Forgiveness uproots the toxic weeds, so the exquisite flowers of love can take root and help create the Garden of Eden in your own realty, which in turn will positively and beautifully transform the world - from the inside out.

Please be in touch with me at if you would like my “Freedom through Forgiveness” guided meditation and/or if you have any thoughts, stories, insights you would like to share.

Sending you blessings of grace, ease, peace, freedom and great love,

Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D.

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