Which Do You Choose? drama or Drama?

Have you noticed? Lots of people seem to enjoy drama. I think many believe they will be bored without it! I have to admit, I can relate. In my 20's and 30's I thoroughly enjoyed the really high highs... and perhaps even the really low lows. Many of my conversations with friends started out exuberance, passion (and probably more volume than necessary): "OMG, you won't BELIEVE what just happened to me!" Life was a roller coaster, and given a choice, I doubt I would have wanted it any other way.

But then I grew up, or simply got tired of the circus that had become my life. I finally set a new intention. Rather than seeking passion, I wanted peace. I love this quote from Thomas Merton: "Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony." I have certainly found this to be true for me.

As I surrendered the drama with a little d, I started to experience Drama with a capitol D: The drama of synchronicity and authentic heart connections with others. I began to revel in the exquisite beauty of nature and enjoy the healing energy of silence. As I started being more gentle in my life, life became more gentle with me.

This new way of being does not mean drama never occurs. I still experience challenges, misunderstandings, and frustrations. But what it does mean, as I move through uncomfortable situations, there is the presence of grace. I have found I enjoy greater patience and deeper faith: faith that life is good and that I am continually loved and supported.

I believe offering up my little drama to the Universe, helped me moved in more direct relationship with the Universe. Rather than dancing a dysfunctional dance with other people that also desired little drama, I am now waltzing with the Divine!

When asked how I moved from drama to Drama, I share these simple steps: 

1. Set the intention to surrender the little drama.

2. Invite peace, gratitude, gentleness and sweetness into your life.

3. Start and end your day counting your blessings and all that you are grateful for.

4. Meditate for 5-20 minutes a day.

5. Spend more time in silence and in nature.

6. When drama comes knocking, don't answer the door! (In other words if people try to engage you in dramatic conversation, change the subject or simply don't engage!)

These six simple steps can transform anyone's life dramatically (forgive the pun) within a week. IF they are ready and IF they really want to.

Despite what many believe, little drama does not make a person feel more alive. Vibrant aliveness comes from our connection to our life force. With that being said, Peace is not for everyone, but I sure know it is for me! If it's for you, give these 6 simple steps a try and then be in touch with your stories!

For more information about Dr. Tammi, for a free downloadable guided meditation, to purchase her books "Manifesting Love From the Inside Out" or "Manifesting Prosperity From the Inside Out," or for personal assistance, visit her website at http://www.tammibphd.com You may also listen to her weekly radio program "Journey to Center" on http://www.Empoweradio.com

The Wisdom Within

People that come to see me for counseling are often motivated by intense pain, confusion, hurt or fear.  I ask them to claim their intentions about what they want, where they want to go and how they want to feel.  My intention is to take them as far, high and deep as they want to go, because in truth, we can never exceed that intention.  I may want for someone to be happy, healthy and fulfilled, but if they only want temporary relief that will be the destination. 

Often once intentions have been claimed, and IF they really want to “go for it” we often end up doing guided meditations. This process helps access subconscious blocks, clear limiting beliefs and heal childhood hurts.  Guided meditations are also a powerful way to access one’s own inner wisdom and find the “right” answers to one’s personal questions.  Sure, it is compelling to go to a psychic, and it is great to experience the advice from someone we respect, but when we tap into our own wisdom, it is truly transformational and can change our lives in an instant!

Though I love to share my opinion and perspective about how life works here on planet Earth (and sometimes I do) it is so much more powerful to hold space and allow a person to find their own truth.  Every single one of us has profound wisdom and knowing within, however, most of us were not taught how to access it.

Did you grow up hearing any of these kinds of statements? Do what your told; I don’t care how you feel; clean off your plate, children in China are starving!  Money doesn’t grow on trees; You did that wrong; Your bad; That’s stupid.  Or did you ever just feel you were not that valuable, important, listened to, or loved? If you can relate to any of these examples, it is likely the loving voice of your inner wisdom fell silent and fear based beliefs started to take up residence in your psyche.

The good news is, despite any inaccurate information you heard or began to believe, that wise, wonderful, loving voice is still inside of you.  And the GREAT news is you can begin to access it through the silencing your intellectual, thinking mind, and listening for the still small voice of the heart.  Some of the ways I have found to effectively do this is to set my intention, light a candle, play some soothing music, or sit quietly in nature. Next, I focus on my breath.  Once my “monkey mind” relaxes (which can take from 2 to 20 minutes, depending on how crazy the monkey is feeling that day) I ask the question I want the answer to.  Often I need to be patient, but eventually, (or sometimes quickly) an answer or information drops into my awareness, which sounds and feels very different than what my conscious thinking mind conjures up.  With this information comes profound AHA’s, epiphanies, clarity and peace.

Do you have questions you want the answer to? Are you confused about the nature of physical world reality, relationships, or money?  If so, try this simple technique and see what happens.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  If you are challenged in accessing your wisdom, please be in touch with me and I would be honored in supporting you turn up the volume of that still small voice within.

You have more power than you think! You have more wisdom then you know!  Turn inward with the intention to activate and hear your own inner brilliance and let me know what happens next! 

Who's in the Driver's Seat of your Life?

It is true, I will admit it: for years I wanted to live a big bold, blow it out of the water life.  And I did!  It was fun...until it wasn’t.  After being with my big, bold, famous, blow it out of the water, fiancé for a couple of years, things started not feeling so great.  I ended up with health challenges, debilitating fatigue and depression. I sought help from many medical professionals: allopathic physicians, acupuncturists, chiropractors, holistic doctors. I prayed, I meditated, I went to retreats, I did cleanses, treatments, pills, herbs, vitamins...you name it I tried it.  But nothing worked. I still felt horrible, sick and sad.

Then I stumbled on one of those magical books changes your perception of life, and yourself, forever: “Coming Home: The Return to True Self.”  I was fortunate enough to find the author, Martia Nelson, and experienced a life altering session with her.  She said to me “Tammi, your ego wants this big, bold, blow it out of the water life, because it mistakenly believes THAT is what it will take for you to feel vibrantly, vitally alive.  But what your soul and True Self wants is to go into the realm of subtleties.” Martia invited me to surrender to my soul. I thought to myself: “Crap! No!  Say it isn’t so!”  I loved LA!  I loved shopping on Rodeo Drive, I loved red carpets and private jets!  Well...at least my ego did.

In the end I had no choice but to surrender. My health and my soul insisted.  My ego begrudgingly got into the back seat of the car of my life, and my soul slipped into the driver’s seat and firmly took a hold of the steering wheel.  And yes, life took a very different direction. My famous fiancé, replaced me and I went back to school.  I began to study subtle holistic practices: Cranial Sacral, Polarity Balancing, Hypnotherapy and Spiritual Psychology.  Though my ego did not like much of what was going on, I believe my soul celebrated. As a bonus, I started feeling healthier, more present and more alive.

I began to see, feel, and experience life very differently.  The colors took on deeper and richer hues, I began to notice the birds, the clouds - and people! For so many years, without even realizing it, my ego was saying “look at me!  Aren’t I pretty? Aren’t I great?”  Now what I found myself naturally doing was, “Wow look at you!  You are beautiful!  Aren’t you AMAZING?”  My life went from “What can I get, to what can I give.” And I have to say, it feels so much better!

Today I no longer struggle with my health, I feel vibrantly, vitally, wonderfully alive.  And though I love an occasional dinner with friends in Beverly Hills, or a nice party, for the most part live a pretty quiet life with my “soul chosen” husband. I write books, I have a counseling practice, I do a radio show.  I enjoy feeding the ducks and the humming birds. I love kissing elk and hugging horses.  I paint, I teach, and yes, I stop to smell the roses. In other words, I live in the realm of the subtleties.  Another thing I have found, is that there is magic, miracle, sparkles, beauty, deep love and great joy in this realm! 

What I know for sure is inviting my soul to lead is what lead me to this place.  Another thing I know, is surrendering to ones soul can be scary, full of unexpected twist and turns and disorienting adventures. It takes courage and faith to go into the mystery of unchartered territory, but in the end to be fully vibrantly alive we MUST be in partnership with our soul.

So, are you partnered up with your soul and True Self? Or are you still trying to figure things out by yourself, and from the level of your ego and  intellect?  Are you more concerned about what you can get or what you can give?  Are you still seeking “big and bold” in order to feel alive, or are in touch with the realm of subtitles?  

My hope and prayer for you is that you are feeling joyful, “on track” and vibrantly, vitally wonderfully alive!

Are you Worthy of Love?

For many years I was really uncomfortable in my own skin.  I had this buried belief that in order to be worthy of love, I needed to be beautiful, perfect and always “right.”   I wasn’t aware of this ridiculous notion until I was presented with a questionnaire while completing a Masters Degree program at the University of Santa Monica.

It was a simple process.  The questions were multiple choice and the answers consisted of: Yes, no or maybe

Here are some examples of the questions:

     Do you think you need to be beautiful to be loved.  My answer, YES!

     Do you think you need to be thin to be loved.  My answer YES!

     Do you think you need to be smart to be loved.  My answer, YES!

     Do you believe that you need to be right to be loved.  My answer, YES!

Hmmm, now that I was looking at my answers, I consciously knew they were ridiculous. 

I delved deeper into the dark terrain of my unconscious beliefs when a friend dropped by my house.  I had been sitting at my computer for 12 hours working on my book.  She said:  “Tammi, you sure are a hard worker.”  I said “Thank you,” interpreting her statement as compliment.  She continued: “What are you trying to prove and to whom?”  My hands froze above the keyboard midstroke.  I turned and looked her in the eyes.  My thoughts were not fully formed, but then I heard these words escape from my mouth: “I am trying to prove to my father I am not stupid and I am trying to prove to my step father I am not lazy.” 

Wow, there sure were a lot of things going on, on a very buried level, that was preventing me from living a loving life!

I think the most painful prospect of all, is not feeling worthy of love.  I did not consciously know I felt this way, but much had been revealed in a short period of time.  And now that these beliefs had been dragged out of the closet of my subconscious mind, and were exposed  on the center stage of my consciousness mind and in my life, it was time to make some different decisions, and set some different intentions.  I decided to explore the concept of relaxing into self- love.

I created some affirmations to help me claim this new way of being.

     I am perfect in my imperfection.

     I am worthy of love simply because I exist.

     I accept and approve of myself just as I am. 

     I am love, loved and loving.

Almost immediately, my life shifted.  People started being kinder, often asking me if I could use some help while carrying something heavy, or giving me compliments.  I was treated to coffee, lunches and thoughtful gifts.  I also saw more beauty in the world, from rainbows, to hummingbirds, to hawks soaring above me. Nature appeared more beautiful, the sky bluer, the grass greener.  Perhaps these things were always going on around me, but I simply could not perceive or receive it. 

My current intention is to love myself no matter what.  I can weigh more than I prefer, I can be silly, I can be imperfect, I can stumble, drop things, make wrong choices, and even be wrong! None of these things make me less valuable, or less loveable.  In fact, I believe these things make me more lovable! 

A friend said to me the other day: “I love that you are always willing to be wrong and look ridiculous!”  And, you know what, she’s right - I am!  And it all has been SOOOOO liberating!  I no longer need to argue for my point, or BE any particular way.  Acceptance is a beautiful thing.  Once we accept ourselves wholly and completely, we can authentically love and accept others.  And isn’t that what what everyone really wants?

These days I feel so much more relaxed and comfortable in my skin.  If I had known this,  I would have surrendered these beliefs long ago.  But better late than never!  I finally get it, I didn’t come to planet Earth be perfect I came here to be loving and that starts and ends with me. 

So now, some questions for you to consider:

     1. What do you think you need to do to be worthy of love?

     2. Who do you need to be to be valuable and deserving of what you want

     3. Who do you need to prove yourself to in order to finally feel accepted?

After you answer these questions ask yourself: Am I ready to surrender these beliefs and relax into a more joyful, sweet, kind and loving relationship with myself and all of life? 

I sincerely hope you say YES and join me in this magical realm of self- love. 

You are a unique spiritual being having a sometimes crazy human experience. You are magnificent, you are valuable, immensely worthy and amazing!  God thinks so and I do too! 

Please be in touch with any thoughts, questions, “aha’s” or revelations.  I would LOVE to hear from you and your stories of self-love!