Saturday, May 30, 2015

Making Friends with Your Inner Saboteur

Several years ago, I thought to myself: “Why is life SO HARD?” I know I am intelligent, fairly attractive, and I am pretty nice…. so why can't I attract a relationship with a good guy? why can’t I keep these last 10 pounds off? Why can’t I make more money?  

As I thought about this, I had to admit, I HAD attracted nice guys…I just wasn’t attracted to them. I had gotten very close to my ideal weight goal - but then would eat a pile of donuts.  I had many opportunities to make money, but did not follow through with my action steps and commitments. But WHY - What the heck is WRONG WITH ME? 

Then I heard Caroline Myss talk about the Archetype of the Saboteur, and that every human being has this aspect. She said: “This may be the most difficult of all the archetypes to understand, because its name is associated with betrayal. Yet the purpose of this archetype is not to sabotage you. The Saboteur's fears and issues are all related to your inner sense of value that causes you to make choices that block your own empowerment and success.”

I found this information compelling and decided to dig deeper into the concept of Saboteur. I learned, though the Saboteur may initially seem “bad,” they have an important job to do. And beneath any negative manifestations, they always have positive intentions. The Saboteur wants to keep things status quo (even if the status quo is not great), and wants to keep us safe (even if that means keeping us overweight, broke, alone and/or small).  

What I was learning rang very true to me.  So, I put my guided meditation skills to work and decided to inwardly connect with this aspect of myself.

As I relaxed into a meditative state, I invited my Saboteur to come talk to me.  I was not sure what to expect. I was really surprised when my imagination conjured up an image of a small nun, complete with rosary beads and a black habit.  I wondered if this was somehow a mistake. But as our conversation ensued, it was clear, she was indeed the aspect preventing me from manifesting what I consciously wanted.  

I asked her name, she said Teresa. I asked her why I was having such problems in my life and why success was so elusive.  She said she didn’t want me to get "too big for my britches." This made me laugh out loud. Then I asked her what her deeper intentions were. She said to keep me grounded, humble, and close to God.  Wow! I found this fascinating!  I asked her if there were things we could do together, that would help me manifest greater prosperity in my life. I was thrilled when she said YES! I asked her what she wanted from me.  She said:

1. I want you to commit to tithing at least 10 percent of all the money you make.
2. I want you to start every day, devoting yourself to God and spending time in prayer.
3. You have to meditate on a daily basis. 
4. Promise to never get "too big for your britches" or think you are better than anyone else. In other words, love Gods children.  

Sure I can do those four things!  She said as long as I did my part, she would do her part to make sure that things would be more graceful, easy, and prosperous in my life. I then asked her if she would be my friend, an ally and like a promotion. She said SURE! She said, rather than be called a Saboteur, she asked that I call her my "Spiritual Adviser."  Then she started to transform. She seemed to get younger, she changed out of her “bad black habit” and put on a stylish suit.   

After this session, wonderful opportunities started to “miraculously” present themselves - and I had no inclination to sabotage them. And the manifestation has continued. Today I manifest the things I want with grace and ease, and I have to say Teresa and I are an incredible team! 

Another example of making friends with her Inner Saboteur is my client Jamie.   Jamie struggled intensely  with her weight. She knew she was making bad dietary choices, but could not seem control herself.  When she first came to me, she was very angry at herself, and embarrassed about her “lack of self-control.”  I told her not to beat herself up, that there was something important going on, and my intention was to help her figure it out. I suggested getting in touch with her Inner Saboteur and she agreed. We did a guided meditation and this is what happened:

After the induction, I asked her to invite her Saboteur to join us.  Jamie said: “Yes, I see her coming towards me - and she is a REALLY HUGE warrior woman, she has a shield and a sword.  I would not want to mess with her!”  I asked Jamie to ask this aspect what her name was and what her deeper intentions are.   “She says I can call her Helga…and she is saying her intention is to protect me from getting too much attention.”   Jamie started to cry. She had been molested as a young girl, and was still carrying subconscious wounds from the experience. Jamie started to understand Helga was really on her side. I had them dialogue about how to come up with a plan and some actions steps to keep her safe. This included working on healthy boundaries, taking care of her Inner Child, speaking up and telling her truth, and taking a self defense class.

Jamie agreed to the action steps Helga presented to her. As Jamie followed through with her commitments, the weight starting naturally dropping away. Her Saboteur has been given a promotion and is now her “Protector.” 

Today Jamie maintains her ideal weight and says it is a miracle how this simple practice completely transformed her life. Jamie said: “I tried Weight Watchers, I starved myself, I worked out 3 hours a day, but until Helga was on board, and got her needs met, there was no way things were going to change -  and no way she was going to let me drop the weight.”  Jamie's words were very wise. Will power and hard work are no match for the Inner Saboteur!  

Another common  message the Saboteur shares is: "Your not important enough or special enough to have what you want." (You can assure them from God's perspective you are - so who are you to argue?!) Then what often comes forward, if the conversation is allowed to continue: "I am just trying to protect you from getting your hopes up, being hurt, or disappointed." A very powerful intention buried beneath a seemingly negative message. The most important thing you can do, if this shows up as part of the conversation, is set the intention to love yourself more.  This will raise your vibration, elevate your glass ceiling or "upper limits," and increase your "inner love container," where you will naturally start to attract more good in your life - and be able to graciously receive it when it shows up.   

If it resonates for you, and you are ready to make friends with this powerful aspect and open to a healing conversation, find some time to go inward and follow these simple steps:

1. You may want a journal or note book to write down the wisdom that comes forward.
2. Light a candle, and set your intentions to connect with your Inner Saboteur, and for the highest possible healing to occur.
3. Relax and focus on your breathing for about 5 minutes, or until your “monkey mind” relaxes, and your thoughts slow down.
4. Imaging walking down 10 steps to your “Inner Healing Sanctuary.”
5. Get a sense of your surroundings and then ask your Inner Saboteur to join you.
6. When they arrive, ask them their name, or what they would like to be called.
7. Ask them what their intentions are, or purpose is.
8. Ask them what they are afraid of.
9. Ask them what they really want? What would they love to do?
10. Ask them if they would like a promotion, or to work together with you, so you can both have a more fulfilling, happy life
11. Ask them what action steps you need to take, or commitments you need to make, so you can become friends, allies and partners.
12. Thank them and let them know you are so grateful for this opportunity to be friends, and become more empowered, congruent, and successful.

If you agree to any action steps, be sure to follow through. If you don’t, your challenging circumstances will not change - and may even get worse.

If you need additional support, here is a link to 30 minute guided meditation to help you walk through this process. Making Friends with Your Saboteur

If you purchase it, please email me at and let me know. I will then gift you my “Relaxing into Self-Love” guided meditation. This meditation will assist you in expanding your "inner container," relax into gracious receptivity, and help you attract support, prosperity, and synchronicity in your life. 

Know I am here to answer any questions you might have, just shoot me an email at  I am also available for private sessions. Just go to and fill out the “Work with Tammi” form. 

I hope this information supports you, as it has Jamie, me, and hundreds of my clients.

Life does not have to be so hard! We incarnated to learn the lessons of love and have a good time.  As you do this inner work, and become more congruent within yourself, your life will naturally start to expand, and become more graceful, easy, joyful, love-based, and prosperous.

I hope you know how amazing and exquisite you are. How awesome, wonderful, worthy, and valuable you are.   And may you manifest all of your hearts desires! 

You are in my heart, prayers and meditations, (Teresa says this is part of the deal!). And I am sending you blessings of light and great love on your human adventure.

Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D. 

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