Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Being Your Own Valentine

Ah yes, here we are, close to one of my most favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day! And with an estimated 62% of our US population celebrating it, this make Valentine’s Day one of our countries most popular holidays.  

The history goes back quite far but was first associated with romantic love in the High Middle Ages. In 18th-century England, it evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards. And so it is in our modern society, the tradition of flowers, cards, chocolates, candlelit dinners and romance.  

Many people come to me around this time of the year, with woeful tales of being single. I tell them this is GREAT! What a wonderful time to really create a solid foundation so they can attract the perfect partner for them.  If they look at me with confusion, I continue by saying: Our relationship with ourselves is the bedrock and foundation for every other relationship we have. No relationship, romantic or otherwise, can exceed the quality of the one we have with ourselves. 

Years ago, I was telling my own woeful tale of relationships gone wrong. Everyone seemed to grow tired of my sad stories, so I decided to have a heart to heart with God. “GOD!  Where is my Valentine? Where is my true love? Why can’t I find a man who will love, adore, and cherish me?!” I got a response. Something clear and powerful dropped into my awareness: “Love, adore and cherish yourself, and he will come!” What? Love adore and cherish myself? Wow, that sounded AWFUL. I retorted: “Isn’t there another way? I’ll do anything but that!”  Another clear message dropped into my consciousness: “Not unless you want to play games for the rest of your life.” I will admit, games were fun in my 20’s. However, in my 30’s they no longer held the same appeal, and was abundantly clear I did not want to be playing games in my 40’s and beyond. 

And so I set the intention to become own Valentine. I treated myself the way I wanted my future lover to treat me. I got cards for myself and said the things I wanted to hear to the reflection in the mirror. I become more present and loving as I made nourishing meals…and even lit candles! I bought beautiful bouquets of flowers for myself, and was gracious and grateful to the beauty and aroma they offered my environment.  I looked for many creative ways to express gratitude FOR me and ABOUT me. 

Though most of these things felt strange, silly and uncomfortable at first, it got easier somewhere along the line.  After a while, being kind to me started to feel more natural. I started to like myself, I began to love myself.  I started to relax into the place of peace, comfort, safety, celebration and love within. Then something interesting started to happen - people started treating me better.  I was starting to hear the things I was saying to the girl in the mirror from other people.  My life started to shift in countless positive and powerful ways.

Then it happened. I met a really lovely man. He was kind, he was thoughtful, he respected me and cherished me.  This was so different than any other kind of man I have ever encountered. Or was it?  It occurred to me, maybe there were always lots of wonderful men around me, but maybe I was not attracted to them because I was not lovely to myself!  

I have come to learn we attract, and are attracted to, people who treat us the way we treat ourselves. Like attracts like and water always finds its own level.  So the problem with bad relationships is never about the “out there” and the other people, they are about the “in here” and our relationship with ourselves. Those people and situations are just reflections of our deeper sense of self. When we change our sense of self, who we see as our reflection naturally changes.

So how do you want to be treated and what would you like another to say to you? Now consider how YOU can treat yourself that way, and say the things to yourself that you would like to hear. 

The road to love can be confusing at first, but then becomes very clear once we authentically care for and appreciate ourselves. But for those that still struggle, I share the way out of the fog and into clarity in my book and guide to true love: “Manifesting Love From the Inside Out.” And now, years later, I have helped thousands of people manifest their life-long Valentine and true love. The bottom line is we cannot manifest love, until we become love. 

And once become love, we are no longer so attached to what things look like around us, we are so happy being love, doing loving things and sharing love. But something interesting happens when we start residing in this space, we become very energetically attractive. Like flowers that towards the sun, people are drawn to us, miracles happen around us, heaven on earth is no longer some fantasy or distant far away notion.   Like attracts like and love begets love. 

So if you want to attract a Valentine, If you want to live a life of greater peace and purpose, set the intention to love yourself, unconditionally, completely and wholeheartedly. You and your life will be transformed. Love will then be the natural consequence and unavoidable side effect.  

If you would like more support, I am making a PDF of my book "Manifesting Love From the Inside Out" available for $7.99 and including 3 guided meditations. I am also giving away my an MP3 Self Love Guided Meditation as a gift. Just email me at tammibphd@gmail.com and let me know how I can help you.

You are the light of the world. You are the child in whom God is well pleased. If you knew how truly beautiful you are, you would never stop celebrating!

Sending you blessings of healing, wholeness, grace, ease and great love, 

Tammi Baliszewski, Ph.D.

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