Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Releasing Guilt

Hello my Beautiful Friends. I am back in the serene environment of Idaho after a month in LA and two intensive healing retreats. People ask what I learned on my adventures and there was SO MUCH, but I believe the greatest value I received was the awareness, release and liberation from a significant amount of guilt I have been carrying.

I have heard it said guilt is anger turned inward. In psychoanalysis, the concept of unconscious guilt is often used to explain certain kinds of self punitive behavior. Guilt can keep us playing small, it can also prevent us from creating prosperity or manifesting love. It can be like a dam in a river or the pinch in the flow of our lives. We always attract what we believe we deserve, and if we have hidden guilt or shame in the recesses of our psyche, it will be impossible to create the life of our dreams.

In my blog last week, I address the issue of guilt. In one of the phrases of my poem “God’s Face” I say “guilt is love misunderstood.” For three years I have carried a heavy burden as a result of a friend’s choice to commit suicide. I thought my guilt was “proving” to him how much I loved him and keeping us connected - it was, but not in a positive way. When I became conscious of the hidden material in the shadows of my heart and mind, I could then look at it, listen to it, and try to understand it. For me, the guilt was like bowing down in apology - and beneath that, reverence and profound, breathtaking love.

I finally understood, my guilt was tangled up, confused love and not serving anyone - not my beautiful friend, not me, not my family, and not those I hope to serve in the future. To heal the guilt, I needed to forgive myself. I forgave myself for not being a good enough friend, for not knowing more than I knew, for making perceived mistakes, for the quality of my love not being enough and much more. As I forgave myself and released the shackles of shame, I started to feel lighter, more open and more “clean” inside. It also seemed I was making space for more love.

If you are carrying any guilt, I support you in going deeper. What needs to be forgiven? What is the misunderstanding? What do you need to release? Becoming aware of and then releasing this heavy emotion can help you to lighten up in every way. I support you in relaxing and letting go of what is no longer serving you and in turning up your wattage. The world needs our light right now and we really do deserve the life of our dreams. Tell me about your process and your thoughts. And as always abundant blessings of grace, ease, healing and profound love, Tammi

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